I am sure I am not alone in this but I have a lot of questions about life, if I am honest almost all my questions are for God. It would be easy but hardly edifying or redemptive for me to write down all my questions for God, so I am taking a different approach to this blog/note. I am coming at this from a stand point where I have lots of questions that really seemed to be answered by one word…Grace.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
This is Paul explaining how God answered his tough question about the thorn in the flesh, and although we are exactly sure what the “thorn” was, looking at Paul’s track record (Philippians 3:1-9) for him to complain 3 times is something of significance; and yet God explains that His Grace is enough for anything.
There are so many times in my life where my heart is extremely frustrated with God, even angry because this isn’t the answer that I want…at times it doesn’t feel as though it is enough.
It breaks my heart to even write those words of honesty down, because as I sit at my desk and look at the cross I have hanging on my wall I am reminded of what it was that Jesus went through that I don’t consider ‘enough’. I don’t like that I can comprehend what is going on or it doesn’t make sense to me, so I get mad throw a temper tantrum and say to Jesus Christ, the risen son of God; “Thanks but what you did wasn’t quite enough for this problem.”
I understand that a lot of this is pride and foolishness; I understand that it is sinful to have this in my heart and yet I can’t stop myself from time after time, spiting in the face of grace and saying “I need more then that.”
See I hear and read many guys “just asking questions” and I hear my own questions being brought up by others as well, which if I am honest I get a sense of relief, kind of that “Whew, at least I am not the only one.”
But then I get scared that we are missing the point, that I am just like the Pharisees who, physically followed Jesus everywhere He went. They witnessed his miracles, the saw him die and rise again, in the flesh they were there! But didn’t KNOW Jesus, and were therefore dead. I don’t want to just follow Jesus around, I want to know him.
David was another on who asked many questions. Reading in the Psalms I am sure many of us can resonate with the cries to God. One of which we read in Psalm 22:1-2;
My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning?
O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent.
But something I love about David’s heart is he always come back to the truth of who God is…his ‘Shepherd’.
Psalms 23 he writes;
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]
I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
We see again the reoccurring theme of questions from man, and answers from God that may not be what we desire, or how we would like them answered…but really who are we to question God and His love, mercy, grace, compassion, or sovereignty. As my great friend Tyson Liske put it one late night when we were hanging out; “How dare I question God’s faithfulness!”
My amazing wife and I went home back to Alberta for a visit last week and I asked my hero (aka my dad); “What is the point of all these questions?” He told me “It is to get people thinking…”
The conversation continued and my dad explained how this is a dangerous slope and we need to be careful that we aren’t just taking apart and not coming back to the bible for our answers.
But really I am not sure what we are supposed to be thinking about. I mean I do, but how is it edifying, how is it redeeming? We dismantle theology, doctrine, even the bible and truth…in the name of thinking?!?!
After years of questions it is my conviction that many of my burning questions have been answered, and usually they fall under either sin, or grace. It is now my conviction that the best way for me to know Jesus…it to stop asking and submit to God’s sovereignty. For me to let go of understanding and say thank you Jesus.
I know this won’t sit well with lots of people, and I will be the first to say “I COULD BE WRONG!” But man how cool it is when “The peace that transcends all understanding” sinks through the hard walls of my heart, which are built up with so many questions and I hear Him say “My grace is sufficient” and that truth, really does set me free…well I have no questions in those moments.
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