The Abused Bride
(This note/blog was written from conviction of my own heart. All of the 'negatives' in this note are things that I have done and do.)
With the sun shining and a father is giving his final blessing to his baby girl this day was perfect. This was the day she had been waiting for her whole life and it was here, her wedding day.
This bride was beautiful and she knew her groom loved her dearly, that he would protect and love her. This bride knew that she would never be abandoned, neglected or abused by her groom and that he would love her so much that he would be wiling to lay down his life for her.
The ceremony was glorious, flowers, vows, tears “I do’s” and sealed with a kiss. Older couples clenched hands as they remembered there special day and being to pray for these two young love birds. It was picturesque, something you would read about in a magazine or see on T.V. and now it was time to party at the reception.
The limo pulled up and the beautiful bride stepped out with the help of her new husband’s strong hand. The photographer was doing all he could to capture every moment. They walked into the reception hall and everyone began to cheer. They celebrated the new couple as a sports fan celebrates their team’s victory. Glasses began to tinkle, sheepishly the bride looks at her groom, they kiss and everyone cheers again. A very weird tradition to desire to watch other people kiss, but the bride and groom obliged several more times that evening.
Suddenly the brother of the bride noticed a thread hanging from the her dress. So then the oppertunity arose, while the bride was near the punch bowl her brother walked up to her and said; “You look disgusting” and walked away.
In disbelief the bride made her way back to her seat and on the way back every single family member she passed had some criticism of her. “You’re too fat”, “Why don’t you look like your sister” some even brought up old memories; “Do you remember when you did that to me, well you hurt me so badly and it’s your fault I am the way I am today” said the alcoholic uncle.
The worst came when her mother came up to her, spite on her and slapped her across the face; “You’re not good enough for anyone! All you do is hurt people. I want nothing to do with you!”
People that were not family members stood on the outside watching intently. Trying to understand how a family, who is supposed to love and support one another, could be so cruel. It didn’t make sense; family was all they had…why would they attack each other that way?!?
At this point the groom noticed what was going on and made his way over to save his bride…
I write this story to paint a picture and remind us of what we are doing when we get so self-righteous, so full of self pity and when we so wrongfully accuse the Church of hurting, or being responsible for why we are the way we are.
We feel justified in blatantly spiting the face of what God has referred to has his bride (John 3:28-30) because someone has mis-represented Christ and hurt us in the process. Or we don’t like a style of worship, or someone’s preaching. Maybe the children’s program isn’t as good as we would do and it super frustrating to see that guy on the elders board.
I am so sick and tired of hearing little comments made about what the Church needs to do better or how the Church has hurt people. As my friend Jonny Mo says; “The Church doesn’t hurt people, people hurt people, and then hurt people hurt people.”
I believe it is time we turned from critics into children. We don’t stand by quietly as our silent father Adam did and allow the bride to be abused so terribly. It is my conviction that we HAVE to LOVE the Church in all her glorious beauty.
We need to thank our God for His grace, repent of our abusing of the Church and strive toward being a pillar that stands for things like; “Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self control.” That we become a people that stand for things like Social Justice, caring for the widowed, loving the broken, giving what we have back to those who need it. Maybe we could begin to be known for what we stand FOR and not what we are against.
We need to have a healthy Godly fear when we are speaking of Christ’s bride. We need to cry out as children for God to redeem his people and keep silent when it comes to what “The Church” could do better. We need to understand that we have nothing to bring to the table, but only by the grace of God can we be used for Kingdom purpose.
I also understand that this is not always going on in every single church and to make general statements can be dangerous and really annoying to read. But I also believe it is a good reminder of the responsibility we have to love the Church, to treat her with respect and to be the hands and feet of Jesus through being the Church.
So are we celebrating, or are we abusing the Bride?
Well instead of leaving this with a question I want to leave with a note of encouragment. To make the point that it is such a gift to be a member of the Body of Christ and we should strive to build this body up one another. Through love, tough love at times but always, always in love.
1 Cor. 11:17-34 is a great passage which talks about divisions, but also calls us to build into the church. We do this by using our God given gifts for His purpose, His glory and the furthering of His kingdom.
I know I sound angry in some of what I have written and I do not apologize for the because I feel this is righteous anger. I also know my heart is pursuing growth on a personal level but also as a body.
I am also in a place where my heart breaks when I see division in God's Church but I will not compromise my convictions, nor change what God has commanded us to do in His word.
God doesn't need our help to make sense of what He was "trying to say", His word is clear and my prayer is we could have submissive spirits and embrace our call to love the Church biblically!
With the sun shining and a father is giving his final blessing to his baby girl this day was perfect. This was the day she had been waiting for her whole life and it was here, her wedding day.
This bride was beautiful and she knew her groom loved her dearly, that he would protect and love her. This bride knew that she would never be abandoned, neglected or abused by her groom and that he would love her so much that he would be wiling to lay down his life for her.
The ceremony was glorious, flowers, vows, tears “I do’s” and sealed with a kiss. Older couples clenched hands as they remembered there special day and being to pray for these two young love birds. It was picturesque, something you would read about in a magazine or see on T.V. and now it was time to party at the reception.
The limo pulled up and the beautiful bride stepped out with the help of her new husband’s strong hand. The photographer was doing all he could to capture every moment. They walked into the reception hall and everyone began to cheer. They celebrated the new couple as a sports fan celebrates their team’s victory. Glasses began to tinkle, sheepishly the bride looks at her groom, they kiss and everyone cheers again. A very weird tradition to desire to watch other people kiss, but the bride and groom obliged several more times that evening.
Suddenly the brother of the bride noticed a thread hanging from the her dress. So then the oppertunity arose, while the bride was near the punch bowl her brother walked up to her and said; “You look disgusting” and walked away.
In disbelief the bride made her way back to her seat and on the way back every single family member she passed had some criticism of her. “You’re too fat”, “Why don’t you look like your sister” some even brought up old memories; “Do you remember when you did that to me, well you hurt me so badly and it’s your fault I am the way I am today” said the alcoholic uncle.
The worst came when her mother came up to her, spite on her and slapped her across the face; “You’re not good enough for anyone! All you do is hurt people. I want nothing to do with you!”
People that were not family members stood on the outside watching intently. Trying to understand how a family, who is supposed to love and support one another, could be so cruel. It didn’t make sense; family was all they had…why would they attack each other that way?!?
At this point the groom noticed what was going on and made his way over to save his bride…
I write this story to paint a picture and remind us of what we are doing when we get so self-righteous, so full of self pity and when we so wrongfully accuse the Church of hurting, or being responsible for why we are the way we are.
We feel justified in blatantly spiting the face of what God has referred to has his bride (John 3:28-30) because someone has mis-represented Christ and hurt us in the process. Or we don’t like a style of worship, or someone’s preaching. Maybe the children’s program isn’t as good as we would do and it super frustrating to see that guy on the elders board.
I am so sick and tired of hearing little comments made about what the Church needs to do better or how the Church has hurt people. As my friend Jonny Mo says; “The Church doesn’t hurt people, people hurt people, and then hurt people hurt people.”
I believe it is time we turned from critics into children. We don’t stand by quietly as our silent father Adam did and allow the bride to be abused so terribly. It is my conviction that we HAVE to LOVE the Church in all her glorious beauty.
We need to thank our God for His grace, repent of our abusing of the Church and strive toward being a pillar that stands for things like; “Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self control.” That we become a people that stand for things like Social Justice, caring for the widowed, loving the broken, giving what we have back to those who need it. Maybe we could begin to be known for what we stand FOR and not what we are against.
We need to have a healthy Godly fear when we are speaking of Christ’s bride. We need to cry out as children for God to redeem his people and keep silent when it comes to what “The Church” could do better. We need to understand that we have nothing to bring to the table, but only by the grace of God can we be used for Kingdom purpose.
I also understand that this is not always going on in every single church and to make general statements can be dangerous and really annoying to read. But I also believe it is a good reminder of the responsibility we have to love the Church, to treat her with respect and to be the hands and feet of Jesus through being the Church.
So are we celebrating, or are we abusing the Bride?
Well instead of leaving this with a question I want to leave with a note of encouragment. To make the point that it is such a gift to be a member of the Body of Christ and we should strive to build this body up one another. Through love, tough love at times but always, always in love.
1 Cor. 11:17-34 is a great passage which talks about divisions, but also calls us to build into the church. We do this by using our God given gifts for His purpose, His glory and the furthering of His kingdom.
I know I sound angry in some of what I have written and I do not apologize for the because I feel this is righteous anger. I also know my heart is pursuing growth on a personal level but also as a body.
I am also in a place where my heart breaks when I see division in God's Church but I will not compromise my convictions, nor change what God has commanded us to do in His word.
God doesn't need our help to make sense of what He was "trying to say", His word is clear and my prayer is we could have submissive spirits and embrace our call to love the Church biblically!
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